The Hidden Problem I see in Indian Marriages

Let me start by saying this is my personal opinion and observation.

I am Indian myself, born and brought up in India. I say this with love because I deeply care about our people and the future of our families.

I believe we Indians are incredibly gifted people. We have received some useful skills from our ancestors which help us do well in our careers. Skills like logical reasoning, understanding of math, spirituality, hard work etc.

To add to this, we have incredible food. Our spices help keep our gut healthy, which supports balance within the body. Our food is so rich and detailed that it may be one of the most complicated cuisines to cook in the world.

These are some of the beautiful gifts we have inherited.

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The Hidden Curse

But I also believe there is a curse we have received from our ancestors that has quietly seeped into our families and our children.

It is ruining many of our marriages.

It is stealing our peace of mind.

That curse is this belief:

"We are victims."

You see, when India was ruled by the British, I believe our ancestors took on a very strong belief that they had been victimized.

In my understanding, this belief went so deep that it was passed from one generation to the next.

Whether you see this as ancestral trauma, inherited family patterns, or energetic beliefs, I believe many of us are still carrying it today.

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How This Shows Up in Marriage

So what happens in many Indian marriages?

There is a subconscious belief in the husband that he is a victim of his wife.

There is also a subconscious belief in the wife that she is a victim of her husband.

This creates havoc.

Now they silently resent each other.

They silently take revenge on each other.

The relationship slowly turns sour because both people feel abused or victimized.

The emotional connection disappears.

Instead of feeling like partners, they begin feeling like opponents.

Many of us don't even realize this is happening because these patterns operate beneath our awareness.

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How This Shows Up in Marriage

Children may inherit the same emotional pattern.

They grow up watching relationships that lack emotional safety and connection.

Some decide they never want a partner because they have never seen a healthy relationship.

Others subconsciously choose partners who keep them feeling like victims because that belief feels familiar.

The pattern keeps getting confirmed again and again.

And the cycle continues.

So How Do We Come Out of This Vicious Cycle?

I believe healing has to happen in both parents.

Both people need to heal these ancestral beliefs of being victims.

Both people need to take their power back.

There are many wonderful healers who can support this work.

Personally, I have seen ThetaHealing® help people release these inherited beliefs in beautiful ways.

You may find another healing modality that resonates with you, and that is perfectly okay.

The important part is choosing to heal.

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One Simple Exercise

Take a few quiet minutes today and ask yourself:

• Where do I feel like a victim in my relationship?
• What story am I keep telling myself?
• How would my relationship change if I stopped giving my power away?

You don't need to have all the answers.

Simply becoming aware of the pattern is the first step toward changing it.

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A Beautiful Possibility

One of the reasons I love this work is because of what it makes possible.

In ThetaHealing®, it is taught that when an ancestral belief is healed, it can be resolved for seven generations before and seven generations after you.

I find that possibility incredibly inspiring.

Imagine choosing healing today and creating a different emotional legacy for your children and future generations.

What an incredible gift that would be.

 Anumeha Gupta is an Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor, ThetaHealing® Practitioner, and founder of Ayuwise Spiritual Healing in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Through her integrative approach she helps individuals release hidden emotional trauma, calm anxiety, and be the person they want to be. 

Anumeha’s writings reflect her deep belief in the power of inner wisdom to bring balance, healing, and clarity to modern life. Feel free to be added to her newsletter for more articles like these.

She can be reached at [email protected].

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